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Picture the guys from King of the Hill walking into a casino somewhere in the US. Hank is probably already grumbling about the cost of parking. Peggy is convinced she knows how to beat the house. Bobby is distracted by flashing lights and buffets. Dale is muttering about surveillance cameras in the ceiling. And Boomhauer — well, he’s just smooth enough to get comped drinks without even trying.
And if we’re being practical, should the King of the Hill gang hit Las Vegas, each of them would gravitate toward different games. After all, whether it’s a slot machine in Vegas or an online casino game at home, the Hills always bring their own brand of chaos. Here’s how that night would go.
Hank Hill Plays it Safe with Real-Money Blackjack
Hank is not the type to chase jackpots or mess with gimmicks. He would sit at a $25 blackjack table, quietly playing by the book, trying not to draw attention to himself. The structure of blackjack makes sense to him because there’s a clear strategy, and if you follow it, you keep the house edge low.
Hank would probably avoid the 6-to-5 payout tables and look for the real 3-to-2 blackjack that you can still find at places like Caesars in Las Vegas or on BetMGM online.
Las Vegas Bingo and Peggy’s Video Poker ‘Strategy’
Peggy thinks she is smarter than the average casino player. She would pick video poker because it feels like a skill game, and she would loudly tell anyone nearby how she’s “using strategy.” The reality is that unless she knows the full pay tables for Jacks or Better or Deuces Wild, she’s donating money back to the casino.
Between hands, she would wander to the bingo hall, convinced she had a “system” for picking cards. She would announce her small wins like they were life-changing moments.
Bobby Hill Spins the Slots Until the Buffet Calls
Bobby would never sit still long enough for poker or table games. He is all about fun, not math. He would spend his time at brightly themed slot machines with bonus rounds, free spins, and goofy characters. The low-stakes penny and nickel slots would let him play for a while without worrying about losing much, and the animations would keep him entertained.
In a real U.S. casino, he would sit at machines like Buffalo, Wheel of Fortune, or even titles like The Goonies on Atlantic Digital. Honestly, Bobby is more interested in hitting the buffet and trying every dessert on the menu than sticking with any one game.
Keno and Dale’s Secret System
Dale is absolutely convinced that the casino is watching him. He would sit in a quiet corner with a keno card, pretending his random number picks were part of a secret anti-government system. The slow pace of keno gives him time to rant about the CIA while smoking half a pack.
If you dragged him into the online section of a casino app, he would play a slot on a sweepstakes casino site like Chumba Casino or LuckyLand — then claim the algorithm is trying to brainwash him.
Bill Dauterive: Roulette and Regrets
Bill is all about chasing hope. He would put chips on red, lose three times in a row, and then convince himself red is “due.” Roulette is dramatic enough to feel like anything could happen, which matches Bill’s constant search for a big turnaround. He would be the guy cheering too loudly after a small win, only to lose it all in the next spin.
Online, he would likely be trying American Roulette at BetMGM, maybe even dabbling in live dealer versions on FanDuel Casino. On the floor, you’d see him at a low-limit roulette wheel in Vegas or Atlantic City. By the end of the night, he would be sitting at the bar with a watered-down drink, telling strangers about his ex-wife.
Online Casino Poker with Boomhauer’s Smooth Edge
Jeff Boomhauer has the perfect personality for Texas Hold ’em. He is smooth, unreadable, and can chat up everyone at the table while keeping his cards close to the vest. He would charm the dealer, win a few pots without breaking a sweat, and never brag about it.
Out of the whole gang, Boomhauer is the one most likely to leave the casino ahead. You would find him at the World Series of Poker rooms in Las Vegas or logging into WSOP.com from home.
From Online Casinos to Vegas Buffets: A Hill-Style Night in Vegas
A casino night with the Hills and their neighbors would be anything but ordinary. Hank is shaking his head at Peggy’s “system.” Bobby is bouncing between slot machines and the dessert station. Dale is ranting about how the casino’s oxygen system is a government experiment. Bill is having an emotional crisis every time the roulette ball lands. And Boomhauer? He is just stacking chips while smiling at the cocktail waitress.
It would be chaotic, a little sad in spots, but unforgettable. In the end, Hank would get everyone to cash out early, and they would all be at Whataburger by midnight.
